I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
what is it with giant penises always finding me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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