Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
