I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
