hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
