508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How does it feel to date your dad?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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