Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
