make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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