I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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