some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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