you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am available for nakedness
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
