he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
