I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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