I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
