He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
