If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
