Can i not drive my cunt home
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When are your genitals available?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
