i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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