she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
