erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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