I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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