My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize