some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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