I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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