Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
