He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
