I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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