It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
