nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
