any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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