it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
that may or may not have been my penis.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
