haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
