I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
