just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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