ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
