everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
