A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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