do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
