Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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