the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
