good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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