She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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