I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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