HIV tests are more positive than that guy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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