Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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