where am i from again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
