if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize