Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
