He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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