Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
