how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
