at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
