So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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