you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize