Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
